if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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