id be glad to
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
