I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We have so much sex to catch up on
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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