Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
