Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
