I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
