dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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