Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
