i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize