You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
