He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
