But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
