Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
