FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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