sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
