i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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