I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
