Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
