she was so not down for the gang bang
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
