Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
