My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Found the puke drawer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
