One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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