Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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