My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
