I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
