I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
