i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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