Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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