I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
