see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
