I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
