Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
