You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
