It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
