this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
