READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
