BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
