I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
