The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
