Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
