I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
