Plan B is the new Plan A
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Randomize
