Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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