you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
