We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
