I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize