I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
