I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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