can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
