I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
