What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
