please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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