So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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