Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
