didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
