Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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