After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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