Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
