thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
