I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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