You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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