sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he shaved USA in his pubs
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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