yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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