dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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