this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
