WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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