can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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