I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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