So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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