Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
