Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
