Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
