It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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