hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
try to milk me bitch
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