Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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