She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize