i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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