Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So vagazzling was a success
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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