Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
