Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Operation Purity has been aborted
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
