I'm lost and stupid without you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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